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Now remember, in a healthy relationship we expect some differences, and we expect reasonable compromise

The List Continues

If you have significant differences on the first three items – finances, arguing to agreeable solutions, and sexual expectations – you might do well to consider staying friends rather than getting married. The rest of the items on the list, while also very important, are a little more negotiable. I do suggest you honestly talk over differences on any of these items prior to getting married. Then you must really be honest with yourself and determine whether or not you’ll truly be happy if the two of you differ a great deal.

Time Together – Time Apart

In my clinical experience, the question of how much time a couple should spend together and how much time, as individuals, should be spent apart can be a challenging issue in a marriage. We all differ on this dimension. If you tend to be something of a free spirit who values his or her time alone or with friends, be very careful of marrying someone who wants to be with you every minute. You are likely to feel smothered, your partner to feel abandoned. This is not a good state of affairs. Talk this one over carefully before you commit to each other, and, as with any verbal agreement, you may want to test it. Don’t hurt each other by pretending to be something you’re not. Read More

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